Overview:
In this deeply personal reflection, a new Presence News contributor shares their journey from creating a Katy Perry fan page as a child to facing the harsh realities of online criticism and performance. With humor, vulnerability, and insight, the writer examines how social media transformed from a creative outlet into a source of anxiety, self-doubt, and toxic comparison — a space where validation and judgment go hand in hand. The essay serves as both a cautionary tale and a call for awareness, especially for the younger generation who’ve never known life without a screen in their pocket.
Social Media
Social media has been a part of my life for twelve years. I created my first Instagram account at the age of ten. The freedom was overwhelming. I had been so sheltered as a child, and now I could post whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I posted all sorts of random things — pictures of my dog, photos of my bedroom floor with the caption, “I’m bored.”
As I started reaching an age where I struggled to make friends, this outlet allowed me to experiment and learn how to express myself.
11th Birthday
On my 11th birthday, I watched The Katy Perry Movie for the first time, and her ability to simply be herself stuck with me. She convinced me I could be whoever I wanted. I began following her on Instagram and noticed fan pages commenting on her posts. I knew I had to make one too. From there, my account skyrocketed. I had over two thousand followers and was noticed by two of her backup dancers and one of her stylists, I was twelve years old, talking to strangers and getting recognition from people in a global pop star’s orbit.
I even received a signed Left Shark phone case from Europe. How did I manage that in eighth grade?
This account was everything to me — until people at school found it.
Thus began the middle school bullying. Actually, scratch that. The school bullies weren’t even the worst part. It was my mom’s friends telling me I needed to get a boyfriend to “grow out of” my obsession with a female star. It was the woman from church telling her son not to date me because I “lacked a real personality.” So I hid in my account. And when that one got discovered, I made new ones. Over and over.
Anxiety
Anxiety crept in during those years, even if I didn’t recognize it at the time. I had all the signs but buried them, afraid of being judged — again — for just being myself.
While social media opened interesting doors for me, I now realize it also exposed me to real risks.
Now, a decade later, whether it’s Facebook, TikTok, or YouTube, each platform comes with a window of negativity — especially wide open for curious kids with full access.
The most common culprit today is TikTok. How many times have we heard the app might be banned? As hypocritical as it sounds coming from me, maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. I even set daily limits for myself so I don’t end up spending hours watching videos that rot my brain.
Negativity
This negativity is everywhere, but it hits young users the hardest. Kids between twelve and fifteen are the most vulnerable to judgment — take it from someone who took every insult to heart at that age. Words hurt. And they stay.
I think of one young influencer in particular — she was only thirteen. After enduring intense online bullying, she took her own life. The person accused of bullying her now receives death threats in the comments of their posts — not just from peers, but from adults too.
Reading the comments on posts made by minors is disturbing. You see grown adults critiquing a teenager’s lifestyle or appearance. These remarks can be incredibly degrading. And unfortunately, many of them are intended to be.
Comments
Commenting on someone’s appearance has become so normalized, it practically rolls off the tongue — or, in this case, the fingertips. The people typing these things hide behind screens, sometimes behind fake names too.
I watch my seventeen-year-old sister navigate social media in her own life. If you’re not dressed on-trend, you’re “weird.” Sure, bullying has always existed. Maybe it used to be worse. But it didn’t follow you home. It didn’t glow from your phone screen at midnight, whispering that you don’t belong.
Even the mindless scrolling has a name now: doomscrolling. It sounds dramatic, but it’s real. I’ve experienced it myself — watching as the videos get weirder, more personal, and more emotionally draining. One post will show someone dancing, flooded with praise. The next? Someone doing the same dance, getting torn apart.
A platform once meant for fun has turned into a platform of judgment. And when your content lands on the wrong side of the algorithm, the backlash is immediate. Your opinion is “wrong.”, Your face is “off.”, Your body is “not normal.”
The greasy-haired girl with a gold KatyCat chain started social media for fun. She ended up with a people-pleasing complex she’s still trying to shake.
By Lexi Vanatta
