Moving to a new town at 30 is a completely different experience than moving at 21.
At 21, you make friends because someone yells “we’re going out tonight,” and suddenly you’re eating tacos at 2 a.m. with six strangers you somehow trust immediately.
At 30? You seriously consider whether the person at the gym who nodded at you twice might become your next best friend.
So we asked people a simple question:
“You are thirty years old and move to a new town. How do you meet new friends?”
The answers ranged from business meetups and volunteering to art galleries and genuine curiosity.
Justin Carpenter
Founder, Jacksonville Maids
“Saying yes to random invites is basically the only way I survive moving to a new city. We debated it for a while but finally tried a volunteer clean-up last week, and it actually worked. It beats trying to force a conversation at a bar. You have to show up more than once, but doing actual work with people makes talking to them way less weird.”
There’s probably some truth to that. It’s hard to awkwardly stare at your phone when you’re holding a trash bag and someone asks if you know where the extra gloves are.
Lance Testa
Group Commercial Director, Van Compare
“Whenever I land somewhere new, I host a Business & Beers night. It always breaks the ice. One time we ended up swapping business stories and grilling tips at the pub, and suddenly those acquaintances became actual friends. Turns out, getting people together to talk about real life is the fastest way to actually get to know someone.”
Honestly, “Business & Beers” sounds a lot less intimidating than “professional networking mixer.” One sounds like a TED Talk. The other sounds like somebody might accidentally teach you how to smoke ribs correctly.
THERY Jean Christophe
CEO, MUSAARTGALLERY
“When I move to a new town, I make the local art community my first stop. I attend openings, artist talks, and community gallery events and offer to volunteer or collaborate so I can meet artists, collectors, and neighbors. I also host small gatherings through the gallery to introduce people and create regular opportunities for conversation. Showing up consistently and building relationships around shared cultural interests is how I turn acquaintances into friends.”
There’s something underrated about simply becoming a “regular” somewhere. Whether it’s an art gallery, coffee shop, gym, or local taco spot — eventually people stop seeing you as “new” and start seeing you as part of the town.
Kate Markland
Author and Advocate for Children’s Voices Through Storytelling, StoryQuest
“The honest answer is that I did not move to a new town at thirty. I moved to a new world at forty, by accident, via a court order and a FaceTime call.
When the circumstances of your life suddenly reduce your available connections to one person on a screen, you learn something quickly about how relationships actually works. It is not proximity. It is the willingness to ask a genuine question and stay for the answer.
The practical advice I give anyone starting again in a new place is this. Find the thing you are genuinely curious about and put yourself in rooms full of people who are curious about the same thing. Not networking rooms. Curiosity rooms. The difference is everything. In a networking room everyone is performing. In a curiosity room everyone is actually present.
And then ask a genuine question. Not a polite one. A real one. The people who lean forward when you do that are your people.”
That might be the strongest point made by everyone we spoke with. Most adult friendships probably don’t start because someone was “cool.” They usually start because two people cared about the same thing long enough to keep showing up.
And honestly? Sometimes meeting friends at 30 just means forcing yourself to leave the house instead of watching documentaries while eating takeout for the fourth straight night.
No judgment though. We’ve all been there.
